My Funny Valentine

Creeping around the corner with the promise of cuddly toys and pink coloured confection, Valentine’s Day is nearly here. This got us thinking though; what can we really expect from this annual day of romancing?

In Britain, aside from an absent link to the original Christian namesake, Valentine’s Day has become a sacred day of wining and dining. It’s a day when women expect men to dig deep into their savings (not to mention their emotionally-stunted feelings) to display some form of unbridled affection. However, has the standard formula of flowers, chocolate and candlelit dinners become a bit…well… staid? Call us love-gluttons, passion-penchants, or simply starry-eyed, but we think it has.

Take Denmark, for example. In this Nordic country is it customary for men to send love letters known as ‘gaekkebrev’.  Not your average love note, however, here the letter must be penned in an original rhyming ode. Shakespeare eat your heart out. Signing off with a cryptic code of dots (one for each letter of their name), the lucky lady must then guess the identity of her secret sender to win an Easter egg later that year. Strange? Yes. Innovative? Yes. Intriguing? Definitely.

So, in the spirit of all things peculiar, we have searched high and low for five of the zaniest Valentine’s Day dates from around the world. Singlehandedly, My Destination will break the dinner-date mould. You just watch us.

1. Confessions of Sweet Sorrowful Love in San Francisco

True stories of teenage angst, unrequited love and passionate poems shared amongst total strangers; what could be more romantic? Hosted by the company ‘Mortified', this annual comedic event, known as the ‘Doomed Valentine’s Day Show’, is as quirky as it gets. Born from the unearthing of an embarrassing love letter subsequently shared with friends, Dave Nadelberg founded the show in 2002. Since then, hundreds of humiliating tales and mortifying materials including diaries, letters, lyrics, poems and home movies have been shared with an eagerly-awaiting audience embracing the mantra of personal redemption through public humiliation. Performers here range from professional comics, singers and celebrities to complete amateurs. If laughing is the way to your heart, this one’s for you.

What: Mortified’s Annual Doomed Valentine’s Show

When: February 10^th at 7.30pm

Where: DNA Lounge, 375 Eleventh St, 94103, San Francisco

How Much:Tickets $15 in advance, $20 at the door

2. The Melt-Your-Heart Moose Safari in Sweden

Should you find yourself in Sweden this year, we have found a new phenomenon perfect for Valentine’s Day besides the Northern Lights - the moose safari. Think about it; you’re cold, your curious (perhaps not just about the moose) and you are huddled close together on the back of a snowmobile. Perfect! Trekking right through the heart of Swedish Lapland, alongside glistening trees and crystalline wilderness, this six-hour safari is something truly unique. Combine this with a conveniently timed Valentine’s Day offer at the iconic IceHotel (see link below), and you will be sure to find a little love amongst snow-clad Sweden.

What: Moose Safari by Snowmobile ; Valentine’s Break at the IceHotel (3-4 nights stay)

When: February 11^th & 14^th (departure dates)

Where: Thevillage of Jukkasjärvi, Sweden(12 km from Kiruna Airport)

How Much: Prices from £1,093 (for the hotel stay) & £267 (for the moosesafari)

3. Becoming a Swiss Chocolate Body Roll in Paris

Eating chocolate is one thing but being slathered in it is another entirely. There are no calories for one. Tossing aside the city’s tempting towers of pastel-coloured macaroons, bubbling vin chaud and velvety cheese, chocolate is the new focus for the sumptuous Four Seasons hotel in Paris. Offering a decadent spa treatment suitably named ‘All About Chocolate’, this indulgent two and a half hour body wrap is something divinely different for Valentine’s Day. Beginning with a chocolate-mint body scrub, followed by a chocolate and toffee body wrap, and finished with a deep tissue massage of cocoa shea butter, your skin will left silken smooth and tasty like a creamy caramel toffee, mmmm. The frosting on the chocolate-covered cake, however, is the patisserie chocolate tasting at the end (ok so there are calories involved but who’s counting)!

What: ‘All about Chocolate’ body wrap

Where: Spa at Four Seasons George V, Paris

How Much: €350

4. Rediscovering the Birds & the Bees in Los Angeles

Perhaps the most unconventional of them all, the Los Angeles Zoo is hosting a Valentine’s Day event strikingly entitled ‘Sex and the City Zoo’. Celebrating the mating, dating and cohabiting of the animal kingdom, this extraordinary event stars a provocative ‘birds and bees’ presentation. If you’ve ever wondered the real meaning of that phrase, now’s the time to find out (adults only, please). Conducted by Zoo veteran Jason Jacobs, this talk will explore real life relationships in the jungle as well as the pros and cons of staying single. A pre-lecture champagne and wine reception will feature, accompanied by some delicious sweet treats. Finishing with an optional five course dinner at Reggie’s Bistro, complimentary champagne and a long stemmed red rose, this intriguing evening will end on a high. Just be sure to keep an eye out for Samantha the lion, Miranda the gazelle, Charlotte the coati and Carrie the chimpanzee…

What: Sex and the City Zoo Dinner

When: February 12^th at 5pm

Where: Witherbee Auditorium at the Los Angeles Zoo & Botanical Gardens, 5333 Zoo Drive

How Much: $35 per person plus optional dinner for an additional $75

5. Drinking for Diamonds in London

Anyone who has ever heard of the phrase ‘digging for gold’ should also be well aware of the expression ‘drinking for diamonds’. Or perhaps not, since I just made it up.  All fictional sayings aside, however, one of London’s hottest à la mode restaurants has fervently risen to the Valentine’s Day occasion. Aside from offering a glorious three-course menu of Pan-Asian cuisine including oyster tempura, loin of venison, salt crusted sea bream and hot chocolate fondant, Gilgamesh is giving one lucky diner the chance to win a sparkling diamond worth over £1,000.Promising to bring a little extra bling to a Valentine’s Day dinner, this exciting contest will be sure to impress your sweetheart. To win, simply order the beautiful pink martini on the menu named ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ and peer to the bottom of your glass to search for the sparkler (be sure to look before you gulp). Aside from a brilliant cut diamond, the winner will be treated to a one-to-one consultation with a diamond specialist for advice on styles and settings. Men, be warned, it is not advisable to tie your shoelace at any point during this meal. You know what we mean.

What: Diamond cocktail contest

When: February 14th

Where: Gilgamesh, Chalk Farm Road, London, NW1

How Much: £50 per head set menu (plus all the additional cocktails you can afford!)

With curious and creative events like this in existence all around the world, men simply have no excuse but to be imaginative this Valentine’s Day. Bearing this in mind, we asked some of the men in the My Destination office what their zaniest romantic date was. One of them, who shall remain anonymous, simply replied “I wrote a poem for a girl, once”.

Good luck, ladies…

Emily Waller, My Destination
February 2012

Follow me on Twitter: @EmilyLWaller