Bond on a Budget

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Bond on a Budget

Bond on a Budget

He’s a flamboyant so-and-so, 007. As a traveller, he tends to enjoy the same things as everybody else – he likes to leave a mark while he’s sightseeing and he certainly enjoys meeting people. Whether he’s causing a ruckus on the streets or schmoozing in high-end bars, style is a main facet of his character and unlike most travellers out there he doesn’t let his standard of hygiene slip while he’s away from home. Casting yourself as Bond on a budget may not seem plausible, but if you’re feeling creative there are certain tricks you can employ that will allow you to channel a bit of his lifestyle without finding yourself on the receiving end of a terrifying bill and/or an international arrest warrant. Of course, the cheapest and easiest way to give yourself a peppering of 00-charm would be to introduce yourself to new people by surname-forename-surname. Start practicing.

Image credit: Axion23 on Flickr

A Riverboat Cruise

Bond

Bond begins his flirtation with trouble in The World is Not Enough by thundering down the Thames in a boat chase that even sees him drive a boat on the road at one stage, such is his love of impractical transport solutions. Typically, there is plenty of damage incurred and even a couple of poor parking attendants are drenched during the all the overexcitement. Still, you can’t be an international spy without being willing to get involved in an unconventional chase from time to time.

Budget

Charging through central London on a spree of bedlam isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea. That said, if you’d rather not face an insurance wrangle you can experience a tour of the Thames in a more sedate manner. There are plenty of Thames tours available, but for the full land and sea experience you should consider taking the London Duck Tour. After all, if you can’t have a high-octane river chase you can always pretend you’re riding a duck. They’re much of a muchness, really.

Image credit: Martin Pettitt on Flickr

A Casual Tipple

Bond

Expensive taste, Bond. When he hangs out in smart bars and pretends to work he habitually drinks Vodka Martinis, shaken not stirred for a smoother finish. It’s a specific order that gives Bond the aloofness of someone who knows what he likes. Despite the drink appearing frequently in the film productions, in the original book series Bond is rather partial to a scotch and soda. Clearly, he is loyal to the finer drinks in life, if not one in particular. After all, he has worked his way through plenty of White Russians in his time.

Budget

Recreating Bond’s taste at the bar is easy enough if you have money in your pocket, but drinking his favourite tipple isn’t always going to be viable on a budget. The best alternative solution would be to wander down to your local whilst wearing your most mysterious sunglasses. Once inside, leave the sunglasses on and start experimenting with your drink orders. You don’t even need to go alcoholic; ordering tonic water with a slice of lime will give you a certain spurious glamour that you can flaunt as if you are the man himself. Tuxedos and cocktail shakers aren’t completely necessary, but they’re strongly encouraged.

Image credit: Hotel de la Paix GenÃ¨ve on Flickr

Sense of Dress

Bond

Dressing as a debonair dreamboat at all times means that during fisticuffs Bond often seems more concerned about the impact on his suit than seeing off the undesirables in front of him. Whether he needs to straighten his jacket or rearrange his cuffs, there’s plenty to think about if you’re going to start brawling in your Sunday best. To turn out as Bond around the world, you’ll need the most expensive suit you can afford and the number of a reliable tailor who is willing to mend bullet holes.

Budget

Understandably, there’s a good chance you won’t have access to your finest dress as you travel, and if you harbour ambitions of being a 00-agent your knackered Havaianas and Asian-beer-brand singlet just won’t do. To stand any chance of flicking your hips on the same catwalk as Bond you’re going to have to schedule a session with a Vietnamese tailor into your round-the-world trip. A visit to a tailor in Ho Chi Minh City will allow you to be elaborate in your choice of suit lining without bankrupting you. Imagine the heads turning as you rock up to beach party in a green floral three-piece! It’s what Bond would want.

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Road Tripping

Bond

In Quantum of Solace, Bond enjoys a quiet road trip through Italy. Okay, he actually becomes involved in a car chase during which his car loses many of its working parts as he winds his way to Siena in time for the historic Palio di Siena horse race, which is a must-see activity in the Tuscany region. Bond, of course, cannot attend such events without causing a scene, and it’s only fitting that he takes in the majesty of rural Italy by causing an expensive mess as he goes. It’s a classic Italian road trip.

Budget

For starters, if you can avoid a car chase you’ll save on a hefty insurance bill. To really lessen the charge, leave all dreams of Aston Martins at home and go for something more modest, such as the cheapest hatchback or moped you can hire. Wind the windows down, unbutton your shirt and take to the Italian countryside. You may not find yourself embroiled in a cliff-top chase scene (and you’ll probably be glad about that) but just being able to road trip across Italy carries a certain prestige in itself. The road is yours.

Image credit: Janus Kinase on Flickr

After Hours

Bond

When it comes to evening entertainment, only the best will do. Take Casino Royale, for instance. In this caper Bond plays a high stakes poker game in a battle of one-upmanship against his enemy. Grown men throwing their wealth around a poker table is the esteemed gentleman’s version of a playground game of marbles, and Bond is not a man to turn down such a battle of honour. If Bond took a gap year, you can assume he’d spend most of his time curled up on a Contiki bus going from Vegas to Monte Carlo and back.

Budget

If you’re travelling on a budget, gambling is perhaps the worst activity around. You needn’t go to Vegas and place bets you can’t afford to lose to enjoy some of the charm, however. For a truly low-rent Bond experience you should head to the nearest penny arcade armed with a tub full of old change and an unshakeable can-do attitude. You won’t walk away a millionaire, but if your luck’s in you might gain an unwieldy soft toy from a claw-grab machine. I know which I’d prefer.