Dutch Customs and Culture

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Dutch Customs and Culture

Travelling to another country involves much more than simply sight seeing or shopping; it includes absorbing the culture of the place and getting to experience another way of life up close and personal. Though every culture has its peculiarities, the Dutch have quite a few contradictions that characterize their lifestyle. The Dutch are known to be quite open and progressive when it comes to their outlook towards other cultures, soft drugs or sex; however, they still like to preserve their values and are quite private about their personal lives.

The People

The Dutch like to keep their personal and professional lives apart. They are well known for their professionalism and have a more or less no-nonsense approach when it comes to any sort of dealings. Honesty is a highly regarded virtue, to the point that their candidness can seem a bit rude for the uninitiated. With the Dutch, words, promises and invitations are to be taken at face value.

The Dutch people are generally quite reserved when dealing with outsiders, and for that matter are not known to discuss personal matters even with the closest of friends. They do not appreciate showing off their possessions or emotions, nor take nicely to those who do. Ask them a personal question, and be prepared to face outright refusal.

However, this does not make them an anti-social race. On the contrary, the Dutch are quite family-oriented and occasions such as birthdays are a complete family affair. Dutch families are generally small, with one or two children being the norm. Almost 75% of Dutch women choose to work part-time so that they are more available for their children.

The Dutch have an egalitarian outlook towards life and are known for their tolerance of individual differences. They raise their children without any gender biases and show respect to all individuals. This egalitarianism is carried forward to the work space, where all employees are entitled to their own opinion and have it heard too. The Dutch are quite disciplined as well, with a particular regard for cleanliness. They also think of themselves to be hardworking, thrifty, well organised and practical individuals.

Greeting and Etiquette

The etiquette rules that govern European society are more or less applicable to the Dutch as well. While a firm handshake is a customary form of formal greeting; friends, family and acquaintances air kiss each other three times on the cheek upon meeting, starting with the left cheek. Hands are to be shaken with every individual, including children, in a swift and firm manner, while being accompanied with a smile and introduction. First names are used only with family members and close friends, or upon invitation.

Punctuality is highly regarded in Dutch society, so make sure to reach your destination five minutes before the agreed upon time to avoid any embarrassment. The Dutch like to lead an orderly life, with a pre-determined time for work, accomplishing chores, having coffee and meeting with friends. For this, they are introduced to maintaining agendas and calendars right from primary school. They are also pretty good with languages, with almost 90% of the population being able to speak in the English language.

Food

Food is simply about getting together for the Dutch, and not necessarily indulging in culinary delights. While most people choose to skip breakfast on workdays and some are perpetually on a diet, lunch happens to be a simple, yet important meal that includes bread, dairy products, tea or coffee and fruit. Kitchens mostly close down by 9 or 10 o’clock as dinner is had by 6 or 7 in the evening, this is the most important meal of the day. Though Dutch cuisine does not include any characteristic dishes, you will find a variety of restaurants serving proper Turkish, Italian, Indonesian, Surinam, Chinese and Mediterranean meals. The Dutch really love their potatoes, vegetables and meat, especially beef, pork and herring.

Cycling

Amsterdam has a well-connected network of roads, making any destination within a reasonable distance. The cycle paths are flat and the weather is mostly pleasant all year round, which accounts for the Dutch love for bicycling and making it an integral part of their culture. You will see most people cycling their way through the city, as it is the most convenient and fastest mode of transport. The city infrastructure too has been made to nurture this love, with parts of roads reserved for cycles and separate parking for bikes.

Birth and Birthdays

Just like any other community, the Dutch too have certain rituals accompanying each occasion from birth to death. In the Netherlands, a majority of the women choose to give birth at home. Once the baby arrives, people are served pink or blue biscuit rusks topped with aniseed comfits known as beschuit met muisjes, corresponding to the gender of the child. Sometimes, they also place an inflatable or wooden stork in the front garden announcing the arrival of a baby into the family.

Birthdays, as the world over, are celebrated with great fervor in the Netherlands, though mostly with family and friends. While friends and family get treated to cake and drinks, the birthday boy/girl gets gifts. Children have a gala time as they not only get to celebrate at home, but also at school by distributing sweets or small gifts. When a man or woman reaches the age of 50, they are said to have become ‘Abraham’ or ‘Sarah’, and their celebration features a decorated bread or pastry figure that’s made to resemble an old man or woman.

Gifts and Cards

Gifts and cards form an integral part of the Dutch culture and one of the most popular messages is 'gefeliciteerd' which mean congratulations in English. Gifts are not only expected at birthdays or weddings, but also if you are invited to dinner. While some choose to pool in and buy a single expensive gift, flowers and fine chocolates are acceptable too. The peculiar aspect about giving flowers is that they have to be in odd numbers, except the unlucky 13. Lilies and chrysanthemums should be saved for funerals. Gifts have to be opened right away or it may be considered rude. It is customary for the Dutch to show their gifts to their guests, while return gifts are saved for a later time.

The Dutch don’t really need an occasion to send cards. They send cards for almost everything, from birthdays to engagements, retirement and sickness, or even simply to show their gratitude for a good time.

Marriage

The Dutch have the freedom to choose their spouses and also make arrangements for their own wedding these days. Quite contrary to their liberal image, monogamy is the only form of marriage that is allowed. According to Dutch law, wedding ceremonies performed by state authorized civil servants are the only ones recognized and binding. The couples have to formally register their intention to marry beforehand, also known as "ondertrouw".

The scale of the ceremony is absolutely left to the discretion of the couple, as some choose elaborate parties, while others opt for small private affairs. While the venue of the civil ceremony can be quite unique like a city hall, disco or even a zoo, some couples also add a church ceremony to the wedding festivities. The Dutch usually distinguish between their daytime and evening guests, with the latter being invited only to the reception or party.

A lot of Dutch couples choose to live in consensual arrangements, while same-sex couples are allowed to marry and inherit the same rights as heterosexual couples. The Netherlands was the first country to permit gay marriages in April 2001.

Funerals

Traditionally, Dutch funerals have been quite a sober affair. The death is announced with a paid message in the local newspaper. Thereafter, friends and family are mailed the news with a pre-addressed envelope. This envelope is then returned with a donation to the family. Funeral attendance is subject to invitation and may or may not include a church service.

The hearse carrying the deceased will often have its lights on or be marked with a small flag, and ten to ride at a slow pace. Attendees dress in black, dark blue or gray formals. While the guests keep their voices low before the burial or cremation, the mood lightens at the reception, which can be held at a funeral parlor or a reserved room in a restaurant with sandwiches and drinks. Flowers are sent to funerals and not taken along even if the sender is in attendance.

However, with such a brilliant mix of cultures co-existing in the country, colorful death rituals have found their way into the funeral service. While the customs differ as per the region and religion of the individual, almost anything is possible and acceptable at the service, so long as it does not violate any laws.

Sinterklaas

On the 5th of December, each year, the celebration of the birth of Saint Nicholas or Sint Nikolaas infuses color into the white winters of Amsterdam. Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of sailors, children and the city of Amsterdam in general and an iconic part of Dutch heritage. The concept of Santa Claus originated from the legend of Sinterklaas.

Each year, a live Sinterklaas shows up on television as well as people’s living room bearing gifts for children. In the weeks before his arrival, children place their shoes next to the fireplace or heating unit (these days) before going to bed to wake up and find some candy such as a chocolate letter or small presents in them.